What I’ve Learned in 40 Years as a CEO
By Kris Seale, President & Chief Executive Officer
At 22 years old, I was everything you’d expect.
Young.
Inexperienced.
Driven.
But I was also something you may not expect.
Chief Executive Officer.
After graduating from college, I suddenly found myself at the head of a newly established preneed funeral life insurance company in West Texas. And though I had less than a thimble’s worth of insight at the time, I was arrogant and believed I knew everything there was to know about running a business, managing a staff, and helping funeral homes.
As you can imagine, that couldn’t have been further from the truth.
Yes, I was the ultimate decision-maker of a company, but I had no idea how to be a good leader or inspire those around me to be their best. So, over the last 40 years, I’ve worked on my leadership skills to better help our business, our staff, our client funeral homes, and the families they serve.
In the decades since joining Funeral Directors Life, I’ve discovered that the more I strengthen and prioritize my leadership, the more I build up those around me. That is invaluable.
As an owner, executive, manager, or supervisor, you cannot overestimate the impact your leadership skills have on your business. Because to best serve families and your funeral home, you need to be a strong leader to empower your team, build meaningful relationships, inspire loyalty, and create a lasting impact.
Now, becoming a strong leader doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a lifelong journey and takes a daily commitment. However, the benefits you’ll see in your business, your staff, and your community will continuously reinforce your decision to be a leader worth following.
And if you think that none of this applies to you because you’re not in a leadership role in your funeral home, think again. Any funeral professional who works with other funeral professionals or families can benefit from focusing on their leadership.
Here are 3 ways you can grow as a leader.
1. Build self-awareness
When was the last time you read a book on leadership?
One of my favorite ways to grow my leadership skills is by reading books that stretch my leadership muscles. One lesson that always stuck with me came from Patrick Lencioni’s book Getting Naked.
Often, as leaders, we believe that we are good at hiding our flaws and weaknesses from those around us. But staff members and co-workers are insightful! Lencioni suggests that those we lead know our struggles, and, as his title suggests, we should be honest and open about our strengths, weaknesses, and motivations with our teams.
Several years ago, I facilitated a meeting of our sales management team and was looking for feedback on a few new ideas I had. The team started sharing ideas—some were great, and some were difficult for me to support. When I heard an idea I was unsure of, I would interrupt the conversation and question the individual’s motives, ultimately shutting down the discussion.
After the meeting, a member of the team asked me, “Kris, do you really want our ideas, or do you just want us to hear and accept your ideas? Your interruptions and aggressive responses make us feel like our opinions don’t matter. So, why should we even speak up?”
The crazy thing is, I really wanted their ideas, but my behavior did not show that. I had to learn a lesson about myself that the team already knew: if I wanted feedback from my people, I needed to listen and make my responses more conversational and less defensive.
This authenticity can build trust between you and your staff. Your team will be more inclined to follow you if you are grounded and transparent about your capabilities.
Key Takeaway: Invest time in self-reflection to become more aware of your leadership strengths and weaknesses and create relationships built on trust and mutual respect.
2. Lead with empathy and compassion
Like most funeral professionals, you’re likely already very empathetic and compassionate, which is why you excel at serving families. But empathy is more than a valuable trait in the funeral profession – it’s essential for leading teams.
I’ll be the first to tell you that when I was younger, I was not the most compassionate leader. While I was never disrespectful or hostile to my staff, I did not always choose empathy. In fact, a long time ago, one of my executives told me, “Kris, do you want to be right, or do you want to have friends and customers?”
To this day, it’s still one of the best questions anyone has ever asked me.
When you show families and your staff that you understand how they feel and care about their well-being, you’ll begin to create an environment of trust inside your funeral home. Being an empathetic leader can help you foster a positive workplace culture where employees feel supported and valued, which can lead to higher motivation, engagement, and dedication among your staff.
Key Takeaway: Show your team and your families that you care by listening, understanding, and offering support.
3. Empower those around you
Did you know that a result of successful leadership is the creation of new leaders around you?
As a leader, one of your primary responsibilities is to empower your team members so they can grow and succeed. This begins by showing trust in their abilities.
Many leaders believe that being a good leader means overseeing every detail of their team’s workload. However, micromanaging your staff will rob them of the ability to work confidently and independently.
In any business – especially the funeral profession – employees must feel free to do their best work. Delegate important tasks to your staff so they’ll have opportunities to take ownership of specific responsibilities and shine.
As part of establishing our company’s annual business plan, I delegate the creation of specific department plans and budgets to members of my team. They are responsible for ensuring that we have a thoughtful, well-documented game plan for the coming year to help us be better positioned to succeed. Every team member who works on the plan is fully aware of my expectations and receives my full support as they take on this project. By allowing them to work independently on a task of this importance, I can focus on other responsibilities while encouraging them to give their best effort. And while this is their project, I make myself fully available as a resource should they need me.
Every year, I am honored by the work they do to create our business plan and budget. Their work makes me extremely proud.
Empowerment also means giving your staff a voice. Listen to your team’s ideas and promote a culture of innovation in your funeral home. When employees feel heard, they are more engaged and motivated to contribute creatively.
Key Takeaway: Empower those around you by encouraging their growth, giving them the confidence to make decisions, and building a culture of open communication.
Become a leader worth following.
Families feel safe turning to you in their moment of need because they know you’ll care and support them. And when you focus on improving your leadership skills, your staff will feel the same way about you.
Be the leader your staff and families need you to be by being honest and self-aware about your qualities. Show compassion and empathy for those you work with and serve. And don’t forget to build up your team so they feel confident in their abilities.
But above all, remember that leadership isn’t a reward – it’s a responsibility.
And there’s always room to improve your skills and empower others along the way.
Want to learn more about growing your leadership skills?
Check out this podcast on how to be a leader worth following!