About the Author
DJ Jons
Transformation Through Aftercare
Monday, August 9, 2010
In Terri's last article, she spoke of transformations, and how small acts of kindness can lead to transformations in ourselves and others. One very significant way we can transform people's lives is by offering aftercare to families. It's been said that I have a passion for aftercare, which might be true. It's a passion that developed from my own experience with personal loss over the years. With little to no aftercare provided during the most difficult times in my life, I understood how a full aftercare program could help those who are grieving find a sense of connection and comfort during a time of loss. That is one of the main reasons I've worked so hard to put together a full aftercare program for our client funeral homes.
Why invest in aftercare?
Aftercare not only comforts the family, but also builds a continuum of care in which the funeral home serves families generation after generation. The preneeds that result from aftercare ensure that each family served will turn to your funeral home again for their future needs. Preneed eventually becomes at need, and aftercare leads to more preneed. A continuum of care and service is established for the funeral home.
How does the program work?
Aftercare must be done for the right reasons, with genuine care for families. Above all, aftercare is a commitment. We must be committed to serving families. We must be committed to doing what we say we are going to do and following through on promises. Otherwise, it would be better never to have started the program in the first place.
With that said, I want to tell you a little more about the elements of the aftercare program:
Arrangement meeting
When a family sits down at the arrangement meeting, they will receive a condolence letter from the funeral home and an information card introducing the Family Service Specialist. A postcard is then mailed to the family the day after the service letting the family know what to expect during the funeral follow-up meeting.
Follow-up meeting
The Family Service Specialist will call the family to set up the funeral follow-up meeting a week after the service. During the meeting, they will go over a funeral service satisfaction survey, the Aftercare Resource Guide, and a special issue grief newsletter.
Memorial keepsake
A complimentary memorial keepsake may be presented to the family as part of the aftercare program. For example, the funeral home may offer a photo keepsake to each family they serve. The Family Service Specialist would collect the photo and deliver the memorial keepsake.
Prearrangement meeting
Preneed arrangements may come up as a topic of conversation at any time. Sometimes families will want to prearrange during the first meeting. Usually, the Family Service Specialist sets a separate appointment to get all of their preplanning completed, and that is when prefunding options are discussed.
What is it like from the family's perspective?
I am frequently asked about how the family responds to the aftercare program. Reactions vary, but overall, many of the following are present:
Disbelief
It can sometimes be overwhelming to realize that someone cares enough to come to your home, give you valuable information, and present you with a memorial keepsake of your loved one.
Gratitude
The care and consideration that is shown just by looking at photographs and listening to stories can also be very touching for families. Emphatic listening on the part of the Family Service Specialist is vital to the success of the aftercare program and priceless to the families they serve.
Relief
The materials given to the family help them see the stages of grief and put words to the emotions they are feeling. In some ways, they are given permission to express their emotions as they learn more about the grief process.
Trust
If the memorial keepsake is being offered, handing over the only copy of a favorite photo might cause some concern for the family. But when the photo is returned, they develop a deeper trust in the Family Service Specialist. Families tend to respond very warmly once this level of trust has been established.
How is aftercare transformational?
The first time I presented the aftercare program in a training session, I asked the group, "If you had the cure for cancer--would you want to share it with the world?" Everyone said that they would, without a doubt. It would end the suffering of many people, both loved ones and strangers. My life has been touched by cancer, so I know what I would do if I had the cure; I'd shout it from the rooftops. I feel the same way about aftercare and preneed.
No one has to go through this alone
I feel that aftercare and preneed are the cure to needless suffering when end-of-life concerns touch our lives and the lives of the families we serve. As I told this group of sales professionals, "I have a commitment, a responsibility to you; to empower you to share this knowledge and to be a blessing to the families you serve. And you, in turn, have just as great a responsibility to share your knowledge because you know that no one has to suffer through this alone. No one has to go through the confusion and grief and loss without someone there to help them after the funeral service. And no one has to go through the heart-wrenching process of arranging a funeral without the help of a preneed plan. It just doesn't have to be that way."
To end suffering
When we started talking about transformation at FDLIC, I had to look up the definition of transformation to see if it applied to our aftercare program. Here's what I found: Transformation is a qualitative change, and usually a change for the better. Are we transforming lives through aftercare? I think that we are. One of the motivational speakers we listened to at a company meeting last year said that the mission of every company should be, in one way or another, "to participate in the end of suffering." I think that in a very significant way, that is exactly what we are doing through both aftercare and preneed.