Funeral Directors Life Insurance Company

Transformation

Monday, June 7, 2010

Transformation is defined as a marked change, as in appearance or character, usually for the better. We have been talking a lot about transformation at FDLIC. Most of us have a fog surrounding us. This fog blocks the view of the world around us. It blocks us from seeing where we want to go, what we want to be, and what we want for others. Denali, Mt. McKinley, is the highest mountain on the North American continent at 20, 320 feet. Permanent snowfields cover more than 75% of the mountain. From the ground, the peak can only be viewed 20% of the time. Does this sound like your life? Do you want to see more "peaks" in your life?

Let's go back to the definition of transformation. All of us want "betterment". . . to improve our character . . . to make a change in our life for the better. We may want to be more kind, caring or faithful or to be freed from something that is weighing on our heart or mind.

We hear the word transform used frequently in the media. Listen to commercials . . . how many products offer their use as a way to "transform your life"?

Dr. Edward Deming, an engineer and mathematician by education, is best known for his work on quality improvement. In one article, he cites that individuals, when transformed, transform others. He wrote that we are all part of a "system"--what impacts one part of that system impacts the other parts. Ah, so if I do something to transform the lives of others, then I too will be transformed? If I transform something in myself, then I transform (perhaps) someone else's life.

Is transformation complicated? Oh, it can be broken down into simply stated steps, but we all know that the difficulty is in the actual doing! I freely admit that when I hear the word transformation, I automatically think "Oh man that sounds daunting!", but does it have to be?

No, it does not. It can be small, medium or large--it depends on what it is that you want to transform. In January, Parade magazine focused on how to make over your life. The January 17th issue was entitled "Make Happiness Happen." That article struck a chord with me because of how my parent raised me and the nature of the business that we are in.

Let me share with you some of the article . . . starting with the opening paragraphs:

The moment of truth had come. I had stood in the post-office line for 25 minutes waiting for the lone clerk, and by now I had built up a pretty good head of steam.

But when my turn finally came, instead of making my impatience felt with a brusque tone or comment, I piled my boxes of books on the counter, took a deep breath and a good, long look at the weary, harried clerk, and said very solicitously, "Hello, how're you doing? These just need to go book rate."

I could almost hear her breathe a sigh of relief. After we commiserated about how hard it is to find time to read these days (and found common ground in our enthusiasm for Stephen King), I took my receipt, said "Have a good day," and turned to go. Being nice hadn't only improved the clerk's day, it made me feel pretty good too. The next guy in line barged past me, dumping his mail on the counter and barking orders like a drill sergeant--alarmingly like the old me.

Does that sound like something in your day? Ever felt that way? Ever acted like the "grump" or were kind to someone having a really lousy day? The impact of a simple smile, a little empathy and friendliness transformed both the author and the clerk's day. Ever smiled at someone who appeared to be having a bad day, a lonely elderly person or took the time to hold the door for a young mother struggling with small children and all the paraphernalia that has to accompany the family? Small, simple actions, but impactful. Something that we easily can do? Yes! Transforming each time that we do them! All we have to do is, well, to do them!

Taking that first step toward what you want to change is in and of itself rewarding and transforming. I am sure you know the old cliché that the "first step is the hardest." Robert Collier, a motivational author, sums up the importance of that first step and its impact on your success: "Take the first step, and your mind will mobilize all its forces to your aid. But the first essential is that you begin. Once the battle is startled, all that is within and without you will come to your assistance."

Ben-Shahar is also quoted in this article as saying, "The No. 1 predictor for general well-being is not money or prestige but the time we spend with those who are near and dear to us. Enjoying close and intimate relationships with those we care about and who care about us is an absolute prerequisite to happiness. But it's precisely these relationships that suffer most in our hectic modern life." Our transformation could be the key to keeping those relationships healthy.

Those of us who work with families have a unique opportunity to transform our lives and the lives of others. We reach out in many ways to help families--aftercare and the education provided in group presentations or focus groups come to mind immediately. How do you feel when you have provided someone with information that made either an immediate difference in their lives or down the road? How did they . . . and their families feel?

I will leave you with this challenge. Is there anything that is important to you? Is there one thing in your life that you have never done but would like to do before you die? What are you doing about it?