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Renewal -- Part 2: Phases of Change

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

In my first article about renewal, I cited Frederick Hudson, a well-respected author, who discusses how we can productively manage and confront change in our lives. According to Hudson, adults experience their lives in two basic patterns: they are in a life chapter or in a life transition. Think of your life as a journey on a river. It flows in a cycle, with recurring patterns of events and life tasks. The renewal cycle of change moves from relatively stable periods called life chapters to unstable periods called life transitions.

Life chapters are about accomplishing something important with your life. For example, a life chapter might be completing a degree, having a career, raising a family, or reaching a goal. These are things that pull your life together in a meaningful way. Life chapters vary in length and are the things that "happen" in our lives.

We also experience life transitions where we must look into ourselves and evaluate, do some soul-searching, and envision new chapters. Life transitions are about letting go of the "old" -- roles, responsibilities, dreams, etc. They are about breaking down negative behavior and thought patterns in ourselves and restructuring or reinventing ourselves. It is seldom a quick path. People in transition usually work and remain active, however, their inner work requires - or deserves - most of their energy and attention.

Understanding and using Hudson's four-phase model of change allows us to: identify the phase we are in; know when it's time to be proactive about moving from one phase to another; and to view change differently -- with an increased understanding that it is predictable and in accord with natural life principles. Let's discuss what happens in Hudson's four phases:

Phase 1: "Go for it." This phase represents your most heroic (best/most creative) self and you are very outgoing. You work with purpose, commitment and energy. You are a team player who is active, busy, and optimistic. Keep in mind that you can't stay in this phase forever because what starts out as energy and enthusiasm turns into "workaholism" and burnout.

Maintaining this Phase:

• Create a personal vision, mission and strategic plan that you review and update annually (or more often) to ensure that they do not get "stale."
• Pay attention to your thoughts so that you can channel your energy positively.
• Express gratitude and appreciation for the blessings you have in your life.
• Place "Feeling Good" and "Time for Self" on the top of your daily "To do" list!

Phase 2: "The Doldrums." This phase may occur as your life's plans and experience plateau and you have the "been there done that/is that all there is" feeling. You may find yourself disenchanted and out of sync. You will likely spend your time alone with little energy. Feelings that accompany this phase are boredom, restlessness, anger or sadness. You are pessimistic and resistant to change, denying the need for something different. When these feelings persist, you must work on the "inner self" in order to find a new identity, purpose and passion. It is important to remember that this is the phase where you need an exit strategy quick.

Managing the Doldrums:

• Initiate a "mini-transition" -- redecorate, change your schedule, learn a new skill -- to move back into "go for it" or the cocooning phase more quickly.
• Recognize that life has its ups and downs; change is inevitable.
• Use affirmations to counter negative thoughts.
• Identify what in your life has reached a plateau, what is going well and what is not going well. This will be helpful in the cocooning phase as you look inside yourself and identify what you want to change in your life. Create a wheel with segments of the important areas of your life. For example, your wheel might have sections on health, home/garden, primary relationships/friends and family, work, fun/leisure, personal growth, finances, physical environment, etc. Rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 or 1 to 5 as to how satisfied are you in each of those areas.
• Say "good bye" to those things that are impeding your ability to move to the next step and to other options. Life is a series of "closet cleaning" -- keep, toss, or eliminate.

During Phase 3: "Cocooning or Introspection." You have moved into yourself to begin a transformation. You take an emotional "time out" to heal, reflect, and discover new directions for your life, eventually leading to renewal and revitalization. You are meditative, quiet and spiritual. There may be some disorientation as you begin to heal from the doldrums. It is in this phase that you have turned inward to explore your core values and deepest self. You are working hard to restructure yourself.

Managing Cocooning:

• Use meditation, journaling, spiritual retreats or another safe, unhurried environment to seek a better understanding of your inner self.
• Seek the services of a life coach to help guide you in your journey.
• Review your vision and your definition of what you value.
• Decide "what to keep, what to eliminate or change, what to add" so that you can decide how to proceed into a revitalized life structure.

During Phase 4: "Getting Ready." You are moving out of transition and devoting time to get ready for challenges. You have become passionate about your life and have amazing energy, a strong desire for creative endeavors and learning. The getting ready phase is about integrating and aligning what you know about yourself with your most deeply held values. You are ready to move down a path different from the one you have been on, eager for the new sights you are going to see and the experiences you will encounter.

Getting Ready:

• Reformulate your vision.
• Learn new skills -- take classes, enroll in seminars, etc. -- to help increase your confidence and encourage yourself.
• Redefine for yourself what is involved in the "Go for it" phase so that you don't land back in the doldrums.
• Start dreaming!

The transition process is not always as dramatic as we have discussed. We probably have more "mini-transitions" where step back, look into our selves and see what adjustments are needed to the current chapter in our lives. For example, all of the children have left the nest the question arises in ourselves, "What do I do now?" In this case, a tweaking rather than a complete restructuring of our inner self is needed. Many people are already innately satisfied with their inner self and will continually make mini-transitions throughout their lives. We are like a house that undergoes refurbishing and rejuvenating as our preferences and styles change. Out with the harvest gold appliances and shag rugs! (or have they come back in style?)

Ecclesiastes 3:1