Being Versatile in Your Communication Style
Friday, September 11, 2009
Communication is a critical process in everything we do: in our business, at home, with families in at need or preneed situations. Communication is the oil that keeps the engine going. Without that oil (effective communication) the engine will sputter and stall and screech to a halt. So, as a Company, we've put a major emphasis in our training programs on studying the mechanics of effective communication.
The Versatile Sales Person Training (VSP)
Three years ago, we began to put all of our sales team, our executives, and our employees through a course called the Versatile Sales Person (VSP) from Wilson-Learning. The VSP training is an extraordinarily well-researched program, and it differs from other courses in that it focuses on how others perceive our communication style.
The course goes over how every person has a communication style that is comfortable for them. Some are more comfortable getting straight down to business and some are more comfortable telling a few jokes or stories before starting a meeting. Some are comfortable with mounds of data and empirical evidence, while others just want to know about the bottom line. Although your style may be comfortable to you, it may not be so comfortable to others in your group. Luckily, we can make choices about our communication style. It doesn't mean we are changing our personality. We are just temporarily shifting our priorities in a communication setting when we are working in a group that has differing styles. VSP helps you learn how to [b]adapt[/b] your communication behaviors to make others more comfortable and therefore, more receptive to your communication. If the engine is stalling, then we're not going anywhere. Developing the skills to become versatile in our communication style helps us to work more effectively as a team and keep that engine running.
Communication Styles
The first step in VSP is to identify your communication style. This is accomplished by having a group of your peers complete a 10-15 minute profile on you. The profile also provides an indication of your "versatility" - your ability to change or adapt your behaviors.
The profile identifies you as falling into one of four communication styles: Driver, Expressive, Analytical or Amiable, or more often a combination of two with a primary and secondary style. As you can see from the diagram below, the four styles are broken up into quadrants that are formed by two axes. The horizontal axis represents a person's level of assertiveness, or the way in which a person is perceived as trying to influence other people. For example, those who fall to the right, with tell-directed assertiveness, tend to be very direct in their approach; they tend to make declarative statements rather than ask questions, speak more rapidly, and lean forward in a conversation. Those who fall to the left with ask-directed assertiveness tend to think more before they speak, ask more questions, act more reserved, and tend to lean back during a conversation.
The vertical axis reflects a person's level of responsiveness, or the way in which a person responds to others when accomplishing tasks. Those at the upper end of the vertical axis are perceived as having a task-directed responsiveness, which means they are more likely to be motivated by the task itself. They will likely want to get down to business right away, and usually begin a conversation with facts and figures, sharing few feelings and maintain a consistent, more formal tone of voice. At the lower end, those with people-directed responsiveness are more likely to be motivated and energized by the people they are working with more than the task. We would see conversations starting with more sharing of feelings and stories, more gestures and facial expressions and a much more varied and informal tone of voice.
What is a Driver?
Drivers are both task-directed and tell-directed. They are absolutely the movers and shakers of the world. Drivers are natural-born leaders; they are classic CEO-types. Their body language is formal, they make direct eye contact, they are highly assertive, and may use emphatic gestures to make a point. Their voice is usually louder and more forceful and fast-paced. Their message is direct, to the point, and focused on the task at hand. Drivers expect their message to be heeded, and they expect those who speak to them to get straight to the point. Often, they'll ask, "What is the bottom line?" Usually drivers feel most comfortable when they are able to remain in control. When they feel threatened, their reaction tends to become autocratic - "This is what you will do!"
What is an Expressive?
Like a driver, Expressives are tell-directed, but their motivation for accomplishing tasks is more people-oriented. Expressives make their presence known just like Drivers; however, they are more informal in their approach, use more open gestures and frequent facial expressions. Their voice is often loud, lively, with use of informal words and phrases, and varied intonation. They might call themselves a "people person." They enjoy swapping stories before getting down to business. They tend to be imaginative thinkers, talking in terms of the "Big Picture," and they make use of analogies and personal examples to make a point. They might be a little unstructured when thinking aloud. Expressives don't mind being on center stage. They are most comfortable in an environment where their contribution is acknowledged, where they are appreciated for who they are, and where they receive recognition for a job well done. If they sense a threat, Expressives will go straight into attacking behavior - "Are you stupid?!"
What is an Analytical?
Analytical people are task-directed like the Driver, but because they are on the ask-directed side of the matrix rather than the tell-directed, they tend to be far less assertive than drivers. Analyticals are hard workers, with a "nose to the grindstone" sense of duty about their work. They tend to quietly go about their business, and ask questions when they need something from others rather than demanding it. Their gestures are a little more stiff and reserved, and their speech is formal and serious. With 93% of our messages communicated nonverbally, you would see "closed" body language. Analyticals tend to speak with a generally even, sometimes monotone, voice. Because they enjoy process and procedure, they tend to be organized and focused on the facts. They tend to be slow about making decisions because they want to make sure they have all the information they need. They are most comfortable in an environment where they are respected for their work and as a person. Their motivation in their more formal style of communication is usually to show respect. Their back up behavior, if they feel overwhelmed or disrespected, is avoidance - "I am leaving now."
What is an Amiable?
Last but not least, an Amiable person, like an Expressive, is people-directed when accomplishing tasks; however, rather than a "people-person," they may be more likely to be called a "people-pleaser." Amiables are primarily concerned with making sure everyone is all right, comfortable and happy. They are open and inviting, usually informal in their style and address, smiling, and friendly. Unlike Expressives, Amiables really don't want to stand out from the crowd. When working with a group of people, they tend to pay attention to people's feelings. They are "tuned in" to when someone feels discouraged, slighted or overlooked, and they will try to exert their influence to make the situation good for everyone. Like an analytical (who shares the ask-directed side of the continuum with them), they may be perceived as tentative, even and slow in their responses as they think through what they want to say because they may want to make sure everyone is accommodated. They tend to ask leading or hinting questions when they want something done. Their message is that they are interested in your well-being and willing to accommodate to your needs. They are most comfortable in an atmosphere where they receive approval and are able to express their approval of others. Their back up behavior if they are pushed or even attacked is acquiescing - "Whatever you want is fine."
Versatility in Action
Many of our differences in communication stem from one communication style conflicting with another. Those who have little in common, like Expressives and Analyticals, or Drivers and Amiables, might have more miscommunication issues, and that is where versatility comes in.
Once you can identify your own primary social style, then you can learn to identify other styles and adapt your own behavior to make the other person more comfortable. A Driver might soften his or her tone when speaking to an Amiable, and offer encouragement and approval for doing a good job. An Analytical might resist throwing too many facts and figures at an Expressive, and use analogies, stories, and broad strokes to get a point across. As you become more familiar with other styles, you can foresee and avoid conflicts in the future. And that's what versatility is all about!
Ken Blanchard sums it up nicely: "Real communication happens when people feel safe." So, practice your versatility today!